Happy New Year!!!

So, I'm now sat here with a glass of bubbly(love champagne, my one and only expensive vice) and the day has come to sum up the year that has passed. Where do I begin...

Let's start with Uni, this past school year has been good it seems. All my studies have gone well, have passed all my exams and student life now seems easier than when I first started. Maybe because I'm now getting in the flow of student life or maybe because I actually love what I do. This past year has made me realise I am in the right place and doing what i am meant to be doing. A good year all in all!

As for home life the kids and I have been well, it's lovely to watch them grow into their different personalities more everyday. They are both at real developing stages age wise(read periods of extreme testing of their mother at times) but that is all part of growing up and learning new life skills :) Last year has also been a bit though, on my son in particular as he's not growing as "normal". Doctors have ruled out any underlying troubles and through loads of tests confirmed this is "only" due to lack of growth hormones. Treatments will probably start next year so wish us luck! We also had a tough time when we lost my cousin unexpectedly last spring. He was too young and it happend suddenly...

Personally I've had a good year. I've learnt a lot about myself and how I react in different situations. I have become more patient and relaxed both when it comes to school and when applied to the rest of my life. I feel I have achieved what I wanted and I've also had some opportunities for fun nights with friends. Over the past year I have made a few new friends and also reconnected with some old good friends with whom i had lost contact. Sadly I've also lost a few, some intentionally others not... Always sad when you loos friends you thought were close but that's life I guess...

Over the past year we have also had my best friend over to stay, miss her so much! Fab to see her, hopefully I'll be off to see her soon :) We have managed to buy a new car, moved house and I managed to win a price in a competition. All good!

As for the coming year expectations are high! My daughter starts school this coming autumn, she can't wait. By march/april I'll be half way through Uni as well.. Also hope all will go well for my son's treatment. On a more personal note I hope for some more opportunity for party and sparkle in my life and maybe a chance to dare to and meet someone special, who knows!

As for New Year resolutions I only ever have one reoccuring one: I promise that I will not give any resolutions as I am not very likely to keep them anyways ;)

On that note I want to wish everyone all the best for 2013 and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Last christmas reflections this year.....

Today I had a lovely, and well needed; sleep in. After all theese last weeks crazieness of getting all sorted for christmas this was really a well deserved treat. Had a great christmas eve with my parents and sister yesterday, not quite perfect though as the kids weren't there. One thing I just have to learn to deal with I guess. First time for me though! That said, me and the kids father have agreed on the terms for "big" holidays as to have them with us every other time. Just as tough on both of us I reckon but a "fair" thing to do for all of us. Focus always has to be what is best for the kids, and therefore this is how it has to be. One big change and progress this year, the fact we actually agree on things :) Hasn't always been that way but as it seems, it gets easier. Hope it'll continue this way as for the kids it really is the best thing if parents can get along and agree on things that concern them :)

Today has been a day of relaxing for me, have almost done nothing! Love it, so needed a break and now for me holidays have started for real. This coming week we are just going to enjoy having time off and doing whatever we fancy! Will be back with updates and more reflection over the year that has passed :)

Happy Christmas!

All that stress before christmas, have spent the last couple of nights wrapping presents and fixing all the last bits of prep and... yes I managed to do it, in time! Today was the big day. As the kids are celebrating at their father's on christmas eve and day we decided to go ahead and do christmas a day early. It has been a lovely day, loads of food, sweets and of course presents. Think the kids got more than what they could've wished for and now they're happily asleep :) Tomorrow I'll be off to my parents after having dropped them at their father's house and then we'll do a "grown up" christmas and exchange presents. Should hopefully be good as well :)

The whole christmas frenzy is rather crazy though. Every year I always think that this will be the year when I don't buy the kids too much so they'll learn to appreciate their gifts. Every year I then get worried they won't get enough presents as I have tried to follow the above... Every year people around my kids give them loads of gifts anyway and it all ends up in a total unwrapping mania of wanting more. They obviously like their presents and yes, they do get necessary things aswell as toys but... always lots of stuff! Not that I deny them that but to put it in perspective it seems so weird that we this end of the world give away tons of stuff when so many people around the globe barely have anything to eat. All this media influence and christmas hype tells us that this is what you do if you love your children, family etc. And yes, I'm guilty of falling into this every year but, isn't the most important thing that you are together with your loved ones? Love can never be expressed fully through pricey presents. Love is being there for, listening to and spending time with the ones you care about. That is something you can do everyday, not just one day a year! My aim in life is that my kids will grow up and not think of me in terms of what material things they've recieved or not, but will feel that I always was at their side, that I always listened(and at least tried to understand) and that I always had time for them, no matter what. That is the true meaning of christmas and how you express true LOVE for the ones you care about!!! On that note:

I wish you all a very happy christmas! Hope you have a great time with your loved ones and that this christmas will bring special memories to treassure forever! HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

Finally!

I am now officially on holiday! Sort of, will probably be some(maybe) reading over the next couple of weeks but on the whole I  am planning to just enjoy a little time off with my kids and family. Such an awesome feeling to know that we now have 18days of almost no must do's, well that's after we've completed all the must do prep before christmas that is!!

Tomorrow we're(kids and I) off to the city to meet up with my sister and do the final bits of shopping and ofcourse also to just spend some time together :) Then it'll all be wrapping presents and sorting the house out left. Love the excitement of presents, wrapping them and getting to give them away!

Will be back soon with some more updates/thoughts on life once I've rested a little after theese 2 lst weeks of extreme work overload. Have to say my brain is near shut down since I have for the most part survived on very little sleep, all about priorities really and sleep hasn't quite been top priority lately... Plan to make ammends over the holidays now if the kids will let me,

Good Night

Superwoman!

That's what I feel like right now! As I have written previously uni has been extremely manic but somehow I have still managed to sort most bits for christmas and so on... Only last few presents to get and I have 1 week to do it-should work for sure!!! Couple more days at uni now then some well needed time off.

Anyhows, tomorrow it'll be full day at school then time to start wrapping presents, love it! Best thing about christmas is wrapping the presents and giving them away :) Right now all my time revolves around school and christmas prep it seems...

Have also been thinking about this last year and all that has happened. Will do some reminiscing here in a few days before we hit new year. Always a good thing to evaluate and appreciate the good bits and work out what you need to improve next year :) Also, I have added a little LIKE button at the end of every post, so if you like what you read feel free to tick the little box :)

Good Night for now!

Weekend summary

Have had such a fab weekend, well deserved I think since last week was so busy. Friday I went over to one of my really good friends. We had some wine, glögg, cheese & so on, totally fab! Was a bit of a late night though. Saturday I had another godd friend over at mine and we had dinner, wine etc. Yet another late night but great! Have to say I do feel a little tired now though!

On top of having fun I also managed to do a few hours of work on saturday. It was one of thoose days at work when you understand why you do what you do. Some of the kids I work with have improved & started to really improve in so many ways. I have absolutely nothing to do with that but just to be able to see that transformation from how lifee used to be for them to what it is today is such a blessing. It's moments like that that makes my job worthwile :) For you who don't know what I do, I work with disabled children & young people...

We have also managed to get some order at home now in time for christmas. The tree is fully decorated, although decorations have been put up somewhat unevenly... Now just a few bits left before all prep is done and we can enjoy a little bit of time off. 4 days more of uni, then... Can't wait!

Random thoughts....

This has been a week that has made me think alot, both about myself and who I am but also about the people I am aimed to work with once I'm done with uni. We've had a few really inspiring lectures and seminars where we've had the opportunity to listen to peoples life stories and experiences in dealing with some sort of need of help from social services. To get the perspective on their feelings and how they've been treated are such helpful things to keep in mind for the future. Have to add that it was both good and bad experiences. It has also made me think about who I am, and how I act/react in different situations. Something always worth considering in order to grow as a person I guess.

On another note, today was Lucia. Swedish tradition with singing christmas songs, and so on. Went to watch the kids at daycare this morning, they were so gorgeous :) It was very cold though. They always celebrate outside and this morning it was nearly -20 outside..... Tomorrow is yet another early morning, been full on this week and as it looks at the moment so is next week. Then after that, christmas break! Now off to bed, alarm goes off at 5am tomorrow, Good Night!!!

2 weeks til Christmas...

And 2 extremely busy weeks it'll be. Full on att uni, got a group assignement that needs handing in during(!) our so called christmas break and still have full days of lectures nearly everyday. On top of that I have agreed to work this weekend... It'll all be good in the end. Have some nice plans for the coming weekend aswell though, off to a friend's place friday for glögg(mulled wine Swedish style) and then have another friend over on saturday, yay! All good fun and games :)

Can't wait til christmas break now though, will be nice to have some time off, chill out and spend quality time with the kids!

Perfect day!

Today we woke up to the most amazing winterday, sunshine & loads of snow so what better to do than head out for the hills for some sledging! Met up with some friends and the kids(and adults) had a blast sliding down the hills!

The view from our balcony this morning!

 

 

Sliding down in the "pulka"

 

Sledging relaxed style

 

 

In the afternoon we stayed in, made gingerbreads and just relaxed. Couldn't have asked for a more perfect Saturday really!

 

 

 

The gingerbread house, with various tenants

to inhabit the house, choosen by the kids :)

 

 

That was our day in pictures, hope for a yet another fab day tommorrow. Will be back with some more tet another day. Have a good rest of the weekend!





Exam done. Welcome to my very longed for weekend!

Exam done, e-mailed and posted... YES!!! Not that I am particulary satisfied with what I've written, as usual, but at least it is done! Now I can relax and enjoy the weekend before we get started on a new course come monday... This was the las exam of 2012 (hopefully, might be a different story if I don't pass though).

This weekend my daughter has made a long list of things seh wants to do. She has decided we need to make a gingerbread house, make gingerbreads, marsipan sweets, nougat sweets and go sledging :) I have agreed to all of the above! In addition we're also planning a visit to my parents at some point, an easy task as they live litterally across the road from us. I for one cannot wait to go sledging, have been watching all the lovely snow fall all week whilst I've been stuck inside writing. Now I want to just throw myself round in the snow with the kids :) For you guys who don't know we now have at the very least ab 15-20inches of snow on the ground over here!

Have also started to get excited about christmas, finally! Only a couple of weeks away, almost all shopping done and loads of fun things planned in the run up to... Have to admit it has been a bit of a downer as this year the kids won't spend christamas with me. It's their dad's turn to have them and although it's only fair and an arrangement we've agreed on it is still a bit of a low point I guess. We're all(my family) going to celebrate a day early in order to have a christmas together and now that's been arranged it all feels better. The high's and low's of being divorced. When you no longer live together you do end up missing bits in your kids lives, I reckon anyone in a similar position will agree with me when I say that this sucks at times. No parent really want to miss ou anything in their childrens lives!

Some positive aspects do exist though, for one-it isn't viable or healthy to stay in a non working relationship neither for the adult nor the children. I have become a happier and more confident person since the divorce and my kids benefit from having a happy mum. Secondly, as a single parent you get some time to yourself, something that is not always a bad thing. A little bit of space to give yourself the opportunity only to be you is so valuable. It's a chance to not only be mum but also develop your own intrests and do fun things :)

 So... little bits of lots of things, enough with thoughts and reflections for today. Now I will curl up in the sofa, pour a glass of red and enjoy the fact that it is weekend and I have no studying to do or books to read. Happy friday everyone!

Exam...

Not finished yet, not to much left though I hope. My last couple of days has been spent staring at the computer, a book or writing on what seems to be our least clearly defined exam to date. That in combination with lack of good material to build any form of text on has been a struggle. Tomorrow it will be over! Just fingers crossed I manage to fix a few bits tomorrow before deadline. And then fingers crossed BIG TIME that it'll actually be enough. Probably one of my worst pieces of text to date whilst I've been at Uni.

Other than examwriting I really haven't done much. The kids were at their fathers yesterday which gave me a chance to write continously during the day, which I did!!! So I haven't quite had the opportunity to go out and enjoy all the snow that has been falling. Will make amends over the weeknd!

Timing

This afternoon we got our exam, have until friday to write it. Today I also woke up feeling crap, stonking cold and high temp. Not quite the best timing ever I have to say! Have decided to start working on the exam tomorrow rather than tonight, feel so shitty I will soon be off to bed. Just gonna cure myself with some oranges and paracetamol first...

On the up side today we have finally got some more snow. Managed to take the kids to day care in their pulka(plastic style sledges) much to their delight! Love the snow, makes it so much lighter and cleaner outside. And it doesn't feel as cold either although still at a reasonably low temp :)
Hopefully this weekend we'll manage to go proper down hill sledging, love the fact that when you take you children you yourself can become a child once again and go down the hills with them! Also we'll have to deal with some christmas prep, planning to make gingerbreads & christmas sweets at the very least!  

Snow!

I got what I wished for, during the night it has been snowing :) Have to say this is the perfect winter weather according to me!

 

This is what December should be like!

Winter

Winter has arrived, beautiful, sunny and at the moment really cold. Love it! Do hope we get a little more snow before christmas but hey... Otherwise this will be another manic week, our exam will be handed out tomorrow eve and we've got till friday to do it-essay exam! If I don't update for a little while this will be why.

The wintery view from my balcony today :)

Thoughts...

I've been thinking alot about my life sofar, not that I'm that old yet really but not quite as young anymore as I'd like. Sometimes I do feel like I've lived a very long life, I feel old. Yet, as weird as this might seem, I've never felt as young as I do at the moment. How is that, well, I've done lots in my life when I do think about it. At the tender age of only just 19 I left my home and country and moved to England. It was a daunting and exciting move all rolled into one. It forced me to grow up early to some extent. I was meant to go for 6 months, I stayed nearly 8 years... England became my home. I honestly never thought I'd leave but fate meant otherwise. I've also managed to travel a bit, furthest away I went was South America, it was a dream come true in so many ways. I did it all-adventures, parties and all that. I also met my ex-husband there... We moved back to England after a while, then to Sweden. The reason I'm back to my homecountry so to speak. Although I'm back to my homecountry it still will never quite be home, as it turns out. I grew up here but I grew into an adult in England, which in some ways still affects my life today.

I've also managed in my life to get married, I've given birth to 2 children and shortly after my 2nd childs birth I got divorced... I've studied, I'm a qualified massage therapist and now I'm at uni. I've struggled through theese years, financially, emotionally and mentally. I've had rough times, soulsearching periods of my life and some that has just been a complete rebellion aginst everything and everyone. I guess theese experiences will be an asset to my future work as a social worker. So although I am only 33 years old, I have managed to do quite a few things in my life. As mentioned before, at this moment in time I feel young. It's an amazing feeling that I do think has to do with uni. I go to uni with the majority in my class beeing younger than me. Beacusse of this I have gotten in touch with my younger side. It's a though balance though between being responsible mum and just beeing me :)

Through my life I also have had a few struggles to deal with. I've been bullied, I've had issues with my weight and looks, I've let myself be put down and controlled by others, I've been reckless at times and I have at times doubted myself BUT I've always come out stronger the other side! I've been stubborn, I have never given up and I've always fought back. This I think is the key in order to dare to go your own way! Never give up, trust that you are the ONLY one who knows what is best for you and what you want. Never let people put you down. I still have issues with certain things in life, I get shy and nervous in some situations. The difference now is that I confront theese fears, I still have lots of improvements to make but I'm on the right track now! I've dared to challenge myself. I also have the very best friends around me as a support theese days, and I hope you know how much I appreciate and love you guys even if I don't always tell you!

All in all, the message I want to send is believe in yourself and NEVER let anyone tell you what is right for you. Dare to make your own misstakes and learn your own lessons of life! And most important of all: Everyone has something special, uniqe and beautiful inside, dare to let it show!

Busy day!

Started today at a very early hour, had a 4hour seminar and finally now it's weekend! Have managed to sort my flat out and decorate in time for 1st of advent which is this sunday. Getting into my normal christmas mood finally. Snow has been falling and it's just all so pretty, and cold, now! Love snow! It has been a busy day today though-uni and then went to wash my car which was a very overdue task to deal wit. Done a weekly shop, sorted flat and done a weeks worth of washing. Well done me :)

In the evening I went off to celebrate my cousin's daughter's 20th birthday! It's amazing how quickly time goes by. Still remember when I held her as a baby and now she's all grown up! We're "only" 13 years apart and I guess what I find most facinating is the fact that we now can sit and chat as 2 grown up friends. It's so weird how time sort of mends the age gap in some strange way!

Tomorrow will be a day of cleaning and then off to work. I do try to work as often as possible, for many reasons. Reason 1-I actually enjoy work, reason 2-money is always handy and reason 3-I have fab co-workers :) For you who don't know my extra job is caring for children with disabillities and they are aged between ab 10-21 :) such fab and rewarding work for the most part! Also working weekends mean I get 1.5 times my hourly pay, always a bonus!

Anyhows, will leave you with a picture of my kitchen ready for advent :)

Life

Came across a text that one of my friends posted, some of the lines written really sums up part of how my autumn has been, thought I'd share a few bits here:

Sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everything's okay, hold back the tears and just walk away...The worst feeling is when someone makes you feel special, then suddenly leaves you hanging, and you have to act like you don't care at all...But the struggles make you stronger and the changes makes you wise...

I'm do agree and believe that by every struggle we go through in life something better will come out of it the other end. We need to learn by making mistakes, and we need to have though times sometimes in order to appreciate the good ones. At the end of the day, we can only grow as people and gain wisdom if we dare to live our lives our own way!

Patience, snow & coffee!

Usually I have a lot of patience, I consider that to be on of my good traits. Today it has been tested in many ways and I guess it's now wearing thin... Could be down to the last few weeks that has been more hectic than normal perhaps. Or could it infact have something to to with having to very strongminded children who has an extreme amount of willpower? Another trait that could be considered good if you want to succeed in life. Willpower is nevertheless something that runs in the family (yes I confess, they've inherited it from me)... Needless to say I do feel I right now need a recharge of some kind, hopefully this weekend will provide some well needed rest at some point.

Today we have also had the first proper snow of the season. I have not been feeling quite in mood for christmas yet although I know it's not that far off but today something changed. Amazing what a difference a little bit of white stuff can make! We are also in full tilt practicing christmas carols, soon enough I'll be back to feel my usual love for christmas I hope.

Apart from that the majority of my day has in one way or other revolved around coffee. This magical solutions is highly important to me, especially when it comes down to do some revising. Today I had a couple of misshaps with my coffee, the machine and I weren't quite on good terms to start with this morning but we sorted out our differences eventually. Then I ran out of coffee, had to rush to the shops in order to restore balance. Finally I got my reward :) I do hope tommorrow is a better coffee day than today has been as it'll be a day of needing to do some serious revising!

6 months

I know, it's been ages since the last post and I do realise I'm kind of crap at writing... Nevermind, figured I'd do one last attempt at this blog business anyways.

Lots has happened obvioussly over the past 6 months but I won't bore anyone with details. We have moved, about 5 roads down from where we lived previously. Bigger place, the kids now have their own bedrooms and the flat is a lot nicer than the previous one. We like it and feel at home. Over summer I managed to work a bit but we also had quite a lot of time off, well needed time off! Then school kicked in again. I was back at uni a couple of days after the move and so autumn has been hectic to say the least. Getting the house in order at the same time as doing law and being mum is challenging at times, but completely possible. Got my "reward" last week when I got my exam results. Top end, couldn't have asked for more :) Next week it's time for yet another exam...

 Apart from school and family life autumn has been a busy time in many ways, lots of must do's, a bit of extra work, and only (unfortunately) little time for meeting up with friends.  It has also been a time of re-assesing my life, what I value and what I want for the future. Some misshaps and some fab moments. All in all, as normal as life gets for most people I guess?

Anyhows, that's enough of a recap for now, will try to be more consistent in my updates from now on fingers crossed. Managed to get some party in my life last week with a big uni dinner part, James Bond theme. All good fun, will leave you with a picture taken that night :)

Weekend

I have so been looking forward to this weekend and now that it's here I can't decide what to do with it. As much as I need some time to myself and get on with my studies etc I so miss my kids. The result is usually that I manage to not do very much. Guess that's needed sometimes though :)

Busy week

Law exam been and gone, finally! Felt better than expected but you never know, now all I can do is wait for the result. New course started Monday, seems fun but have mentally gone on holiday already. Need to push myself for theese last few week, less than 5 to go before summer holidays, Yeay!

Last week was quite a busy week, Friday-exam, Saturday was girlsnight. We are a group of mums who met when we'd just had our firstborns and now we meet up every couple of months. Always fun! And Monday was back to school... So can safely say that I have not just been at home doing nothing (just incase anyone thought so...). This week has also allowed me some time with good friends, yesterday I took a lovely and long walk with one of my really good friends and today I managed yet another long walk and lunch with an old friend :) Theese occasions make life so worthwile. What matters most to me in life is my children, my family, my friends and staying healthy-in that order!

Tomorrow will be yet another busy day, unfortunately not a very fun one. A few weeks back my cousin passed away which happened suddenly and no one was quite prepared for it. He fell ill, heart problems which led to other complications. He only became 42 years old. Tomorrow is his funeral. It makes you look at life and reflect over what is important, put things in perspective so to speak. When tomorrow is dealt with somehow I reckon I'll feel more relaxed and at peace. I hope he is well wherever he is.

Also when tomorrow is over we'll have yet another 3day weekend to enjoy, can't wait to spend some time with my children doing fun things!

Weekend gone...

This weekend has been great, Saturday was spent in the cottage planting flowers, seeing horses and generally playing. Sunday was Amandas end of term show for her gymnastics group. They were such cute little bunnies. All different groups in the local gymnastics association got to show what they'd done this term and they were all so good!

Tonight we've been to celebrate "Valborg" which in Sweden is bonfire-night. There was a kids entertainer singing and the kids loved it, although by the time we got back the little ones were exhausted. We've had such a fab day today, spent late morning and lunch at a friends house. After a BBQ lunch we then went off for a picnic in the afternoon with them and met up with yet another friend. Sun was shining, kids were playing nicely and the mums had a chance to chat and relax over a cup of coffee. What more can you ask for! Then obviously bonfire celebrations tonight.

Amazing how quickly three days off just flies by though. Tomorrow is a bank holiday here but the kids are off to their dad and I have to get down to some serious revising. Big law exam friday and OH MY GOD! it feels like I am sooo not prepared... Only one thing to do about that! Tis means that for the next few days I'll bury myself in books and hope I'll concentrate my studies on the right bits ;) Wish me luck...

Long weekend

And a well needed one. We will have Monday at home together as well so 3 days at home all in all. It's been some intense weeks and next week I have my final exam in the law course I'm currently taking so a break before really getting down to revising is such a relief :)

This weekend also brings some fun for us all. Sunday is the end of term show for Amandas gymnastics group and following tradition it's always a dress up occasion-this year they'll all be animals and her group will be bunnies, so cute. Looking forward to it! We also have som plans to see friends that we haven't seen for quite a while which will be great :) Hopefully we'll manage some chilling time together as well...

Hope time off will make me more focused on my studies next week. Not long now til summer break and so ready for some proper time off, one more course so a total of 6 weeks to go... Found out last week that I passed my last exam which means so far I've passed everything and now have enough points credited to be allowed to continue my education this autumn. Such a relief! Just got to get through this law exam and then last course of term seems really practical which will be a nice change :)

Nevermind, now I will focus on having a lovely relaxing weekend with my kids and just enjoy spending some time together. Wishing everyone/anyone reading a fab weekend too :)

Here we go again :)

Been a busy winter and spring for us, loads of school work for me and unfortunately a great deal of illness.. But after a little while away from this blog I thought it'd be time to restart it... So, here we go again, making a second attempt to get this blog going :)

Got back from work not to long ago, long day, fun day and thankfully a well paid day. As a student it's well needed doing some extra work and I have the fortune to have a great extra job working with fab people. Although tiring, it is so rewarding and therefore well worth it. It's also a great use of my time the weekends I don't have my children with me as I do miss them when they're not around... The kids spend every second weekend with their father so, that's where they are now. I on the other hand get to have some time to myself, which usually means I either work or get to see my friends for a bit :) This weekend is a working weekend! Tomorrow they'll be back home again, can't wait :) but first I'll do one more shift at work...

So best bet now is to head of to bed and get some rest :) Will try to keep the updates more frequent from now on... I hope....